Friday, January 20, 2006

grasping at straws tonight

Friday afternoon has somehow transitioned into Saturday afternoon. It will be Sunday afternoon and time to pick up the Boy Child for another hectic week before I know it.

So what to do with myself?

I spent about three hours in the office this morning, then got caught in summer weekend traffic on the ride home. Got home, wolfed down leftover Chinese food, and put on my bathing suit for an hour and a half at the pool. Damn, it was hot.

Now I'm in that awkward position of being naked and wet and not sure what to do about it. If I had any chance of having evening plans, I'd dry my hair nicely and dress. Since I really don't, I'm inclined to stay naked and let my hair air dry into a naturally curly mess.

Still, I'm feeling bold enough to post something on craigslist to see if there's any educated women about my age in the area looking for something to do tonight. I doubt there will be any bites but at least I'll do something about it instead of feel sorry for myself for having no available friends. Geneticist goes away every weekend now, and the penis pills Guy is apparently so busy with work that none of us will see him until September (in the office until the wee hours of the morning and weekends too). BTW, he did say that his father's test results for the cancer did look good to a family friend who had reviewed them, although they've had no official determination yet.

It's not easy that the one friend who calls every day to see how I'm doing has a very big group of friends and active social life, and his weekend reports are usually full of the fun they have at night. Still, I'm grateful that someone thinks enough of me to call every day to see how I'm doing, and I don't want to curtail his topic selection simply because I can't restrain my envy that there is a social life in the world without me.

So here are my selections of activities for the afternoon and evening:
1. clean my already pretty darn clean apartment
2. pull out my sewing machine, fabric stash, iron, and other various tools and implements, and work on a quilt for the first time in more than a year
3. go through the pile of stuff I've half-decided to give to Goodwill and make up my mind for once and for all
4. read through the Bon Appetit and Cooking Light magazines my mother gave me to clip the yummiest ones for my recipe scrapbook
5. go peruse the library for some new Black Cocks
6. take a nap, cook up some tuna helper, and watch one of my two remaining DVD rentals for the weekend

I really am a fun person. Sometimes I wish I could share that with the world a little better than I do. But I'm not ready to meet men just yet, and meeting new girlfriends is a lot harder than it seems. I wish sometimes I had the courage to just go out by myself to a new place and order a drink and people-watch, but I think I'm too afraid of public perception … "what is SHE doing there? All by herself? Trying to pick up men?" I don't blend into backgrounds well and sometimes I wish I did.

At least I blend into my apartment well.

Was it really just last weekend that I couldn't find a free moment for anything that wasn't business-related, even if it involved food & drinks?